August 1st is for us.
for every woman who’s ever had to awkwardly laugh off a “you’ll regret it one day.”
for every man who’s ever been told he’s “wasting good genes.”
for every person who sat through a family reunion silently screaming internally because someone asked again: “wala ka pa rin anak?”
today is for everyone living their truth without a stroller, a diaper bag, or a future baby name list.
we’re childfree by choice. not by accident, not by delay, and not because we’re selfish.
so let’s break it down. for us, and for the people who still don’t get it.
stop calling me childless: let’s get the words right
if you’re going to talk about our lifestyle, at least get the damn words right. “childless” and “childfree” are not interchangeable. childless implies a sense of lack, like we’re missing something or waiting for our “turn” at motherhood. newsflash: we’re not. we’re not in line. we left the queue, burned the map, and booked a solo trip instead.
childfree, or childfree by choice, means exactly that – a deliberate decision not to have children. it’s not about inability. it’s not a phase. it’s not rooted in bitterness. it’s a valid, permanent, and empowering choice. some people say voluntarily childless, intentionally childless, or even “childless by choice,” but more and more people are embracing the term “childfree” because it centers freedom, not loss.
so no, we’re not sad spinsters. we’re not waiting for a miracle baby. we’re not less of a woman. we’re just not parents. and that’s enough.
no, we didn’t just “forget” to have kids – here’s where it really started
international childfree day is celebrated every August 1st – not that you’d know, considering mainstream media never talks about it unless it’s to dunk on women who dare to say they don’t want kids. but yes, it exists. and yes, we’re claiming it loudly.
the movement started in the early 1970s, when the national organization for non-parents (yep, that was a thing) began honoring people who chose to live without children. the idea was to spotlight folks who didn’t cave in to social pressure and had the guts to live life on their own terms. eventually, august 1 became the official date to celebrate the childfree lifestyle.
thanks to better access to birth control, more financial independence, and women generally giving fewer fucks, the number of childfree people has steadily increased over the decades. and we’re not going anywhere. this isn’t some trendy feminist experiment – it’s a real, permanent lifestyle shift. it’s about time we had a damn holiday.
no, i’m not selfish, sad, or secretly craving a baby
oh, the stereotypes. where do we begin?
if you’re childfree, you’ve probably heard it all.
“you’re just selfish.”
“you’ll regret it when you’re old.”
“you must have had a traumatic childhood.”
“you hate kids, huh?”
first of all, choosing not to raise a child doesn’t automatically make you selfish. i’d argue it’s more selfish to bring a child into the world just to fill a void or meet society’s expectations. parenting is hard. it’s lifelong. and it should only be done by people who really want to do it. if that’s not you? opting out is not selfish. it’s responsible.
second, no, we don’t all hate kids. i actually love a lot of kids… my best friend’s kids, for example. but loving children doesn’t mean i want to raise one 24/7. i can enjoy a child’s company without needing to push one out of my body.
third, childfree people are not all bitter or broken. we’re not failed mothers. we’re not traumatized teens who never “got over it.” many of us are in healthy relationships, loving homes, and joyful lives. we just don’t want kids. full stop.
studies have shown that childfree individuals often have different values than parents. it’s not about being better or worse. it’s just… different. and different doesn’t mean wrong.
childfree ≠ childless
this one deserves its own section because, wow, people really struggle with it. the way we talk about people without kids reveals everything about how obsessed society is with reproduction. and worse, how judgmental it gets when someone opts out.
to be clear: childless usually refers to people who wanted children but couldn’t have them due to infertility, loss, or circumstance. that grief is real, and it deserves space. but childfree people? we chose this. we’re not mourning anything. we’re not missing something. we made a conscious decision not to procreate. not because we hate kids, but because we love our lives just the way they are.
words matter. and lumping us all together does a disservice to both groups. childfree people shouldn’t have to tiptoe around their joy just to make other people feel better. it’s not arrogance. it’s clarity.
the choice is the point
we’re not childfree by default. we’re childfree on purpose.
this isn’t a phase. it’s not something i’ll grow out of when i meet the “right man.” it’s not a placeholder while i work on my career. it’s the actual plan.
people act like childfree adults are just people who forgot to grow up. that we’ll eventually “wake up” and regret not jumping on the parenthood train. but the truth is, many of us did wake up. we woke up to the reality that parenting isn’t mandatory. we stopped sleepwalking through a script we didn’t write. we tore it up and made our own.
you can’t treat us like confused little girls who need guidance. we’ve done the thinking. we’ve weighed the options. we’ve made peace with our decision.
the real issue is: you can’t handle that we’re not afraid to live outside the mold. that’s your discomfort, not ours.
your uterus isn’t public property
the unsolicited advice? the intrusive questions? the casual policing of women’s bodies?
get bent.
if i had a peso for every time a stranger, relative, or coworker commented on my reproductive plans, i could probably afford a baby and STILL not want one.
why is it socially acceptable to ask a woman about her womb? why does everyone feel entitled to know what’s going on inside my uterus? i’ve had people ask me about my birth control at parties. parties. like my cervix is a topic for small talk.
people act like your uterus becomes a public discussion the second you turn 30.
news flash: my uterus is not a group project. and your discomfort with my life choices doesn’t entitle you to interrogate them.
don’t ask me when i’m having kids. ask yourself why you think that’s any of your damn business.
our lives are full; just not with children
you know what’s wild? people assume the childfree life is empty. like we’re just wandering around aimlessly, binge-watching Netflix and crying into wine glasses because we have no one to call us “mommy.”
no. we’re not bored. we’re not broken. we’re fulfilled.
i’ve got passion projects, rescue animals, deep friendships, a career i love, and enough inner peace to go to bed without the sound of a baby monitor. my life is full – not because of what i lack, but because of what i’ve chosen to fill it with.
being childfree isn’t about absence. it’s about abundance. it’s just a different kind.
so stop assuming my life is sad just because it doesn’t look like yours.
let’s talk about the environmental elephant in the room
we can’t ignore the impact. some of us didn’t choose the childfree life just for our personal peace; we did it for the planet.
this world is on fire. literally. climate change is worsening, resources are dwindling, and ecosystems are collapsing. bringing a child into this chaos is not just a personal decision; it’s an ecological one.
yes, population growth matters. yes, overconsumption matters. and no, it’s not “selfish” to think beyond ourselves.
that doesn’t mean every parent is irresponsible. but it does mean that choosing not to have kids is a valid, even necessary, way to reduce our footprint. and we don’t have to justify that choice with pie charts or carbon stats.
it’s our right to say: this planet is struggling, and maybe one less human isn’t the worst idea.
the double standard: men get a pass
can we talk about how men are never asked the same invasive questions?
a 35-year-old man with no kids is seen as “career-focused” or “still playing the field.” a 35-year-old woman with no kids? people assume she’s broken, barren, bitter, or secretly sobbing over baby shoes.
why is it that when men say they don’t want children, they’re mysterious or independent; but when women say it, we’re unnatural, selfish, or “not real women”?
spoiler: the patriarchy is showing. again.
we praise men for choosing freedom. we punish women for doing the same.
well, f*ck that noise. we’re done apologizing for choosing ourselves.
happy international childfree day. now mind your own womb.
if you’ve made it this far, congrats. you either get it, or you’re trying to, and that matters.
this isn’t just a lifestyle. it’s a statement.
we’re not rebels without a cause. we’re people with clarity, courage, and conviction.
we’re done tiptoeing around titas, making excuses, or laughing politely when someone tells us we’ll “change our minds.”
today, we celebrate being childfree by choice. not just as a label, but as a liberation.
so go ahead. post the selfie. drink the wine. spoil your dog. sleep in.
it’s our day.
and we’re not going through a phase.
we’re going through life. proudly, freely, and childfree.