here’s Anj, sharing why her decision to be childfree goes beyond choice – rooted in deep moral conviction and a clear-eyed view of life’s harsh realities.
Anj’s story
i’m 38, married, and work in PR here in the Philippines. i consider myself not just childfree but an antinatalist; i believe it’s morally wrong to bring new life into a world filled with suffering. sure, life has beautiful moments, but there’s also sickness, pain, aging, and death waiting for everyone. to give birth knowing someone will face that? to me, that’s the cruelest kind of harm. as i’ve grown older, seeing how fragile our climate and economy are only cements my stance. kids? in this world? why?
i’ve always had this mindset, even as a teen, but didn’t know there was a word for it until recently. as an empath, hearing about pregnancies always sparked a kind of sorrow for the child. i’m fortunate to have had a loving childhood, but that never erased my belief that bringing new life into this cycle of pain is simply wrong.
when people ask about kids, i keep it light — “in two years” is my go-to answer. i don’t waste energy on pointless debates or convincing relatives. my husband’s opinion is the only one that truly matters. family pressures? they don’t get a seat at this table.
i rarely reveal my choice, so thankfully, i dodge the usual “you’ll change your mind” nonsense. i save my energy for friends who actually get it. the relatives’ “ano, wala pa bang laman?” jokes don’t annoy me; honestly, i find them amusing and just assume they mean well or don’t really care.
society here expects adulthood to automatically lead to parenthood— it’s the “natural” life path: study, work, marry, have kids. but i think that’s less obsession and more a lack of imagination about what life can be.
parents, in my view, miss out on sleep and the freedom to walk away from bad situations. hate your job? quit. hate your spouse? leave. hate parenting? you’re stuck forever, no refunds. childfree means freedom to choose differently.
there’s a big myth about us being selfish, but i think the opposite is true. choosing childfree means i can give more — i’ve helped my siblings with school, supported my parents’ health, donated to causes, rescued animals, and helped strangers. none of that would be possible if i had kids.
judgment and exclusion don’t affect me much. my friends get it, most are childfree too, and the parents i know respect my choice.
the best part of being childfree? peace of mind that no kids will have to endure the hardships i see in the world. plus the freedom to sleep in, travel spontaneously, and invest in experiences and causes i care about.
my days are simple: work, gym, mall, binge-watch, plan trips, eat out — whatever i want.
the future looks bright, filled with life, adventure, pets, friends, family, and a cozy home. the usual worry about who’ll care for me in old age? not a concern. i see a growing childfree community, better aged care options, or even creating our own support system.
legacy? none. i want to live fully now, do good, cause no harm, and be forgotten peacefully.
advice for anyone thinking about being childfree? don’t bring new life into suffering.
any regrets? none. if ever the urge to parent grows strong, adoption is on the table – so many kids need love.
my childfree motto? kids? in this climate and economy?
fun fact: i have seven adopted cats and one adopted dog – my family is full of rescued souls.
what this story hits home on
- childfree isn’t just a choice; it’s a moral stance grounded in real-world realities
- ignoring ignorant comments is part of owning your decision
- childfree life means freedom: financial, emotional, and personal
- generosity and care can thrive outside parenthood
got a story like Anj’s? share it with me here!